How to Thrive During the Holidays
1. Spend less, Do more (Avoid financial stress during the holidays)
2. Avoid regressing to past family roles (scripts)
3. Simplify your plans (Plastic tree, buy some food at the bakery)
4. Let other people help if you’re the host
5. Do something for someone else, such as volunteer
6. Realistic Expectations (Avoid saying, “This will be the best holiday ever!”)
7. Get some fresh air and exercise (Take a walk, go to the gym, get out in the country, or take on a project that calls for physical activity)
8. Get some rest, sleep in
9. Plan to be flexible with your plans
10. Fake a phone call: If the family party is going south, go into a back room alone and pretend you just got an emergency phone call.
11. Bring a friend. They can change the family dynamics in your favor.
12. Watch Christmas Vacation and then do the opposite
13. Set a time limit on the visit. Agree before you go how long you're willing to stay.
14. Have a Signal, just in case you can't take anymore: A subtle tug on the nose or code phrase should do it.
15. A fake smile is better than no smile. A fake smile makes people wonder why you are so happy.
16. Don't have either set of grandparents living in with you unless you have an amazingly good relationship with them.
17. Set Limitations: Do what you want/need to do
18. Learn in advance who will be present in this gathering
19. Be prepared to travel solo. Just because it's a holiday doesn't mean your family has to be attached at the hip. If your wife can't stand your folks, why not take the kids over to visit while she does something else?
20. Limit alcohol use. Numbing yourself may seem the only way to get through the day, but it really only makes things worse.
21. Limit the number of parties you attend. Decide which invitations are the most important and say no to the rest.
22. Focus on the kids. If the adult stuff gets you down (family gossip, arguments about politics, filling Grandma Jean's eggnog glass again), go play with the kids. They know how to have fun.
23. Decide ahead of time what your goal for the day is.
24. Don’t try to fix specific relationships during the holidays, you can't fix 20 years of resentment in a two-hour visit.
25. Take deep breaths frequently.
26. Go easy on mom.
27. Choose your behavior.
28. Create a refuge from the chaos, and spend some time there each day.
