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Is My Child's Behavior Normal? Three Things to Consider:

Do you ever wonder if your child’s behavior is normal, just part of a phase? Before you become too concerned it’s important to know if your child's behaviors are just one of his/her important and normal developmental tasks. Being aware of these tasks should reassure you that your child’s development is normal and likely to change again soon. Parents should know that a behavior "problem" often lasts more than 6 months, happens in more than one place consistently, and appears as a pattern. When you are questioning your child’s behavior it’s helpful to ask yourself, are you expecting too much or too little? Then, keep the following information in mind. 

1. Normal developmental tasks, listed below 
2. External factors; family stress, parenting style, environment 
3. Internal factors; temperament, biological vulnerability Piaget’s Sensorimotor Period (Birth to 2 years) 0-1 years 
• Trust of caregiver/parent 
• Forming a secure attachment now is critical for later years 
• World view is expanding 1-3 years 
• Focus Oriented, can now experience outrage 
• Self-control/self-management are key 
• Impulses are out of control 
• Parallel play normal 
• Peers are competitors or providers 
• Perspective taking is just beginning 
• Able to learn cause and effect 
• Thinking is relatively concrete Piaget’s Preoperational Period (2-7 years) 2-5 years 
• During the first five years of life, children are egocentric -- they can only see their own perspective 
• Increasing ability to tolerate frustration and to delay gratification • Important for them to say NO, allows them to have feeling of control 
• Normal to have focused aggression 
• Play is critical, imaginary friends are useful and normal 
• External to internal control begins to develop/ more able to self-regulate 
• Socialization learned; learning what is socially appropriate 
• Language development 
• Gender identity 5-7 years 
• A very sensitive time for child when making mistakes 
• Parent needs to allow mistakes and help teach that mistakes are opportunities to learn 
• Parents can have influences setting cultural bias 
• Parent can begin to plants seeds for empathy, through modeling Piaget’s Period of Concrete Operations (7-11 years) 6-12 years 
• Latency, this period sexual and aggressive drives diminish 
• Generally a stable period 
• Beginning of our continuous memory/Can begin to develop expectations 
• Most memories are happy 
• Adaptive functions solidified, habits and patterns develop now 
• Child is often able to organize and get along on their own 
• Social skills and ego functions develop now 
• Peer relationships are key 
• Develop "social markers" or labels i.e.: fat, left-handed 
• Mastery is important, being good at something is critical 
• Interest in the outside world Important tasks during latency 
• Friendships 
• Self control (body, emotions) 
• Mastery of environment 
• Clear distinction between public and private life (secrets) 
• External and internal life (fantasy) 
• Reassuring during this period to know there is a "Higher Authority" 
• Hobbies and organized collections offer opportunity for control, organization and order 
• Personality traits develop now 8-9 years 
• Competition enables self evaluation 
• Peer rivalry 
• Clear gender barriers in spite of efforts to avoid 
• Able to be both caring and mean 
• Teasing between sexes important -- helps set boundaries Piaget’s Period of Formal Operations (12 and Up) 12-18 years 
• Social and moral development 
• Rebellion, self identity or expression 
• They want to be trusted Parents, if you suspect a behavior problem, it is important to get a thorough evaluation.

Through a psychological evaluation you can rule-out many problems affecting our children, including learning disabilities, ADHD, behavioral disorders, anxiety, or developmental disorders. A professional evaluation will lead to an accurate diagnosis which will lead to appropriate treatment.

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The contents of this site are for informational and educational purposes only. Information on this website is not intended to replace the personal relationship between patient and physician or therapist and does not imply a professional or therapeutic relationship of any kind with Matthew Woolley, Ph.D. Dr. Woolley’s replies to questions are not a substitute for psychotherapy. If you are seriously troubled, it is your responsibility to seek help from a qualified therapist who will meet with you personally.

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